A Fear of Falling
by Fiercelyyours
Summary: "Peggy gripped the rail with one hand, pain still radiating through her arm from where Whitney had touched her, sending tremors of pain into her shoulder and neck. Her mind raced, there were only two ways she could go, she could fall, or haul herself up and fight through Whitney." Set during "The Atomic Job." A look at the internal life of our favorite characters. PeggySous
1. Chapter 1

Peggy gripped the rail with one hand, pain still radiating through her arm from where Whitney had touched her, sending tremors of pain into her shoulder and neck. Her mind raced, there were only two ways she could go, she could fall, or haul herself up and fight through Whitney. She knew her preference, fighting was her instinct. She could do it, she could muscle her way up, she was no stranger to a pull up. In her mind's eye Peggy saw how it would play out. Whitney would make contact with her skin again. In what seemed like slow motion, Peggy watched Whitney begin to reach for her. _"Don't panic Peggy, there's no time to panic."_ Peggy stared at the pale skin of Whitney's hand. Whitney would touch her if she tried to get back up. There was no way around that. Zero matter would course through her veins again, causing excruciating pain alongside a feeling that Peggy was unaccustomed to; fear. Whitney's hand was halfway to her now. Whitney wanted her dead. Peggy would die, unless she let go. She squeezed her eyes shut, the panic she had been holding back starting to rise. _"I'll be hospitalized after this."_ The panic rose to the back of her throat and she grasped the bar harder. Whitney's hand was nearly upon her, millimeters from her fingers. Peggy clenched her teeth, summoned all her courage, and, as the tip of Whitney's fingers barely brushed her hand, she released her grip and felt her stomach rise to her mouth as she dropped.

" _Peggy, Peggy stay calm. Oh God."_

Daniel's voice reached her indistinctly as though a radio. Where was he? Slowly, her vision came into focus. Her body felt strangely numb and immobile. Struggling for air, she lifted her head up to gather her surroundings and instantly regretted it. Pain ripped through her abdomen like a hot iron. Her hands searched frantically for the source, and were met with something warm and sticky, her fingers were quickly covered with blood. Her hands shook as she looked at them, crimson and shining. _Like my lipstick_ , she thought dazedly. Just beyond her hands she noticed something odd. Struggling for breath she carefully lifted her head and saw the rebar. Slowly, slowly, she realized that its position was strange. It was coming straight through her.

Peggy's breathing spiked, quickly escalating to hyperventilation. Her stomach contracted in panic, sending violent waves of pain up her body. Her plight moved Daniel into action. Removing his jacket he pressed it against her wound with one hand, speaking softly to her as he worked. "Peggy, I need you to look at me honey, stay with me, listen to my voice, focus on my face." He smoothed her hair back and leaned in close so she could see him. "Your heart rate is up, and its making you bleed more quickly. Peg, I need you to remember your training, focus on me, control your breathing. Don't you leave me Peg, we're in this together remember? We're a team."

 _We're in this together. . . I'm with you until the end of the line._ She stared vacantly at Daniel, his face seemed to waver, and lose focus. She blinked rapidly, trying to do as he asked. His hair was so dark. . . she hadn't really noticed that before. Dark like the night. . .

Another wave of pain shot through her as she struggled to take a breath. She braced herself against it, turning her head so that her cheek was pressed against the cold concrete block beneath her. _This could be it for me,"_ she thought to herself, feeling the blood run out of her beneath her hands. She knew she needed to breathe, but she also knew that when she did, the rebar in her stomach would be jarred again. She closed her eyes, clinging to the coolness of the concrete that pressed into her face.

Gradually, she began to notice someone gently stroking her hair. _That's rather impertinent._ She thought dully. Who would be doing that? She forced her eyes before her stood Steve. She gaped at him for a moment, her eyes welling up with tears that spilled quickly down her cheeks. Steve reached for her face, and wiped them away. She clutched his hand, pressing it against her cheek with a desperation that would have embarrassed her to witness. She struggled to speak, to tell him she was sorry, that she loved him. Steve shook his head, motioning her not to speak. His image wavered, then focused again. Leaning in close he whispered in her ear, his voice sounding thick, not as she remembered, "Peggy, you have more to do here. This isn't how you're supposed to go. Breathe Peg. Breathe." Shuddering, Peggy took a deliberate breath, and then another. She closed her eyes firmly, still clutching Steve's hand, and focused on slowing her heart rate. Gradually, she could feel it beginning to work.

"Peggy?! Oh my God Peggy breathe!" The terror in Daniels voice startled her awake again, and as her eyes flew open, she saw his panic stricken face, and felt his hand pressed against her cheek.

"I'm- I'm here." She assured him weakly, pulling in shallow breaths. _Steve is dead_ , she reminded herself firmly, _and you will be too if you can't focus._

Taking her hand in his, Daniel dropped his head to her side and pressed his forehead to her hand as he all but collapsed in relief. Despite her pain, Peggy was moved at the sight.

"Ms. Carter?! Chief Sousa?" the voice floated through Peggy's head, and with each echo it made off the concrete walls, her mind pulled up memories of her mother, of her Father, of Michael. That voice sounded like England, like home.

"Here! Jarvis help!" Daniel shouted back at him, quickly springing up and waving Jarvis over.

Peggy turned her head feebly to the side and caught his expression when he saw her. His face turned ash white, he paused in horror for only an instant before racing on long legs to reach her side.

"Ms. Carter. . ." his voice came out strangled, words seemed to fail him as his eyes scanned her body and then her face, hands fluttering above her, searching for a way to soothe her. She tried to smile and reassure him, but it came across as a grimace of pain and she let it fall in exhaustion.

"Jarvis, we need fence cutters. I saw a pair back in the third room on the right. We- we have to cut down the rebar so we can lift her off. Get them, we don't have time to waste." Jarvis raced off at a speed Peggy was certain he had never managed before.

Daniel pressed more firmly into her abdomen in an effort to staunch the bleeding, sending a wave of pain and nausea through her in a rush that darkened her vision. She tried resist it, to concentrate, but the pain muddled her thoughts and prevented her from focusing. "I'm so sorry Peg, but I have to stop the bleeding." Daniel's voice seemed to fade in volume. . .

Gradually the pain seemed to ease away. Cautiously, she opened her eyes and looked around. She was standing in front of the field hospital on the front lines. Rain fell in torrents, filling the camp with mud. In the distance gunfire rumbled, but the camp was otherwise silent. Peggy pushed through the tent flaps to escape the rain. The army green tent was lined with beds, each one containing a wounded soldier. Slowly, Peggy walked down the rows of patients. How had she gotten here? She had the distinct impression that there was something important she was missing. Coming upon one of the patients, Peggy quietly pulled the sheet back to see who it was.

There, his face hollow and drained of life lay Michael. He looked just as he had that day they had gone to identify his body. Peggy had avoided the memory of that day for years. His features had been unmistakable and yet so foreign as well. Michael was never this still, his expression never so serious. Peggy stared down at him now in shock. She experienced that moment of realization all over again. He had died there in his hospital bed, alone. The nurses had not been able to save him. She fell to her knees beside him, pressing her forehead into his shoulder, a sob escaping her lips. "I'm sorry Michael." She whispered, her words muffled in his hospital gown. She remained there a few moments, trying to collect herself. Slowly she looked at his face, that beloved face. Once again she began to feel that something wasn't right. Michael had been gone for years, what was his body doing here?

Stiffly she stood back up, driven onward by the feeling that she was forgetting something important. Tenderly, she leaned down and pressed her lips to his forehead, reluctantly covering Michaels face with the sheet. With leaden footsteps she moved to the next bed. It was double the size of Michael's bed. Peggy reach out a trembling hand, faltered and, bracing herself, slowly pulled the sheets back.

Her parents.

Swiftly Peggy jerked her face away not wanting to see what was before her. Her breath came out in a shudder. Her parents had been put in a home while she was away during the war. Her mother had developed Alzheimers, and deteriorated quickly. Word had reached Peggy too late, her mother had passed in her hospital bed, her father at her side. Soon after, her father had taken ill, and with no family left near him, had soon passed as well. Now they lay together before her in the front line field hospital, white and lifeless. Nauseating guilt doubled her over, and once again Peggy hit her knees.

This time full sobs racked her and she twisted the bed sheet in her fists as she cried. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there." She sobbed into the mattress. "I'm so sorry you were alone." _And now I am,_ she thought to herself in misery. She slid her hand into her mothers cold one, and pressed it to her lips.

 _There, there, Margaret my darling, don't cry. Where the devil is my handkerchief?"_

Peggy looked up, startled. The room had changed. She was no longer kneeling at her parent's bedside, but standing in a starkly white room being prepped for surgery. The patient was bleeding profusely from his leg, and doctors swarmed around him, struggling to stop the bleeding as he thrashed in pain. Quickly Peggy went to him, seeing she was needed. Grabbing his hand she spoke soothingly, "There now" she crooned in a low voice, "be still and let the doctors work." The man turned his head towards her and deep brown eyes pierced her heart. Daniel. Her stomach dropped. She looked around quickly, they were in a hospital. Clutching his hand still harder, she began once again to feel panic rise within her. Daniel was in a hospital. People she loved did not return from hospitals. Hospitals were where people died alone. She began to feel as though she were suffocating, and somewhere deep in her abdomen, pain blossomed and grew until it was intolerable.

" _Daniel is engaged."_ A snide voice whispered in her ear. _"He isn't yours to love."_

" _But I do love him."_ She thought back at the voice. " _I can't help but to love him."_

"His limb is removed," the doctor told her, cleaning his hands. "The rest is up to him now."

Anxiously Peggy drew Daniel's limp hand to her chest, locking eyes with him. "We're in this together Daniel, you promised." Weakly, he moved to speak.

" _I can't do this"_ the words were double timbered, as though two people spoke them at once, one of them accented.

" _We have to Jarvis, on my count, lift her off."_

Peggy shook her head, confused. She looked back down at Daniel. He certainly seemed real. She squeezed his hand for reassurance. It was solid.

 _Peg, I'm going to let go of your hand now, we will get you out of here ok honey?"_

Daniels hand began to slip from her grasp

"Daniel no!" she cried as she watched the life begin to drain from his eyes. He was so pale now. "Please don't leave me, I need you!" Her legs buckled and she fell to the cold hospital floor. Pain ripped through her now, it was her whole world. For what felt like five solid minutes, there was only pain and a peculiar high pitched noise coming from somewhere far off.

Strange, her eyes were closed, she hadn't realized it. She opened them. Daniel's sheet white face was before her, his mouth moving, but she couldn't make out what he was saying. The high pitched noise was too loud. Didn't Daniel hear it? His hands were on either side of her face, his eyes glazed with unshed tears, his voice low and rushed. Suddenly she realized, it was her. She was screaming.

Coming to, Peggy pressed her lip tightly together, willing that awful noise to stop coming out of her. As she struggled, her eyes remained wide and focused on Daniel's face. He was here. He was whole. She wasn't alone. Seeming to read her mind Daniel's voice broke through the fog, "I'm here Peggy, I'm ok. I'm not going anywhere."

"Chief Sousa, she needs a hospital." Jarvis's voice near her ear startled her into reality.

"NO! No hospitals." Peggy's voice was surprisingly strong, though bordering on hysterical. She looked around her, she was cradled like a child, pressed against Jarvis' chest, the rebar cut away and removed from her body. Daniel stood over her, pressing his now blood soaked jacket into her wound.

"Peg, you need help. We have to take you there."

"NO." She struggled to sit up, to assume a more respectable position but was met with electrifying pain as a response. She sagged in Jarvis' arms. Tenderly he adjusted his grip and kept her off the ground.

Tears began to roll unbidden down her face. "I can't face a hospital Daniel, please," She reached for his hand, which he quickly gave her. "I can explain it all later, but please, please don't take me there." A shudder rippled through her, and her grip lessened for a moment.

Daniel's heart tore within him. Peggy Carter, the strongest woman he knew, stood before him begging and in tears, bleeding profusely. A vision of his life passed before his eyes, a life that did not include Peggy Carter.

"Ok Peggy, stay with me, no hospitals. The council might find you there anyway. It probably isn't the best idea."

Jarvis looked indignant, his arms tightening around her protectively. "Where are we to take her then? She needs help!"

"I know where to go. Jarvis, help her to the car."

As Jarvis lifted her, Peggy wilted with relief and exhaustion. Daniel crutched himself closer, anxiously checking her pulse.

"She's just sleeping now." Jarvis said gently, looking down into her face. She appeared to cringe, muttering to herself, "Daniel?"

Daniel reached out and squeezed her hand, and watched as she relaxed and fell more deeply into sleep.

Daniel wiped his forehead with trembling hand, exhaling heavily. Jarvis watched his face closely.

The two of them hastily made their way to the car, Jarvis carrying Peggy like a child. As they reached it, Daniel hesitated. "Shall I drive?'

"I think not," responded Mr. Jarvis, "She seems to need to be near you currently, and to be frank, I never was very comfortable in the backseat."

Daniel looked uncomfortable. "She doesn't need me Jarvis, you already have her, give me the keys, I'll drive."

"Forgive me sir, but it's not my name that she continues to call."

Peggy was stirring, her face contorting in pain. "Daniel?"

Daniel sighed and climbed into the backseat, letting Jarvis place her carefully in his arms trying not to jar her. Peggy winced, but settled against Daniel.

" _I am in over my head."_ He thought to himself. " _This woman is going to be the death of me."_ He occupied his racing mind by checking on her wound. The bleeding had slowed and appeared to be under control. Peggy's face was white as a sheet, and she shivered in his arms. He found himself mesmerized by her face, usually so animated and full of crimson color, now so still. Slowly, he pressed his lips to her forehead. "Hang on Peg," He whispered. Unbeknownst to Daniel, Edwin Jarvis's eyes followed his movements in the rearview mirror. His expression was soft and sorrowful.


	2. Chapter 2

Peggy's sleep was troubled. Her mind clung to her dreams of Daniel in the hospital bed, images of him dying slipped in and out of her head, mixing with images of herself sprawled out on a concrete block, a rebar stabbed through her middle. Undefined anxiety ate at her insides, not allowing her to relax. She stirred and struggled weakly against whoever was holding her, fading in and out of reality. She murmured in agitation until the loping motion of Jarvis' gait stopped, and was still.

Peggy's mind slowly came into a dim focus, but she kept her eyes shut. She didn't have the energy to answer any questions. She struggled to identify her surroundings. Her cheek was pressed against something warm, and a rhythmic sound pulsed against her ear. A stab of pain pulled her away just as she was about to identify it and she pressed her face into the warmth to try to escape the pain, her moan muffled. Breathing around her wound was proving a challenge. She focused on drawing in one breath and then another, bracing herself against the pain each time. They were shallow and uneven, but she was satisfied that she was breathing at all. As she calmed, the rhythmic sound returned, and Peggy matched her breathing to its rhythm. Its pace was faster then she preferred, but it helped her focus. As she began to relax and drift off, something warm and soft pressed her forehead. Dimly she thought she ought to know that feeling, it sent a sense of security and peace through her. It was enough to put her out like a light.

"Where exactly are we going Chief Sousa?" Jarvis called from the driver's seat, a touch of impatience in his voice.

"Turn right up ahead and then it will be on your left." Daniel replied, gently shifting Peggy in his arms. She had been quiet for a solid ten minutes. Too quiet, it was unnerving. Every thirty seconds or so he found himself checking her breathing. She was, but too softly for his liking. He thought briefly about telling Jarvis to book it to the nearest hospital in spite of Peggy's request. He just couldn't bring himself to do it. The look of desperation on her face as she begged him not to, and the look of relief and trust when he'd agreed haunted him. He couldn't go back on his word, not with Peggy, and not while knowing what he now knew about her. Peggy had been delirious as they lifted her from the rebar. She had spoken in heart wrenching agony of her family.

 _I'm so sorry you were alone._ Daniel had had to put his ear to her lips to hear her words, _And now I am._

He had choked up at that. Part of him was hurt that she did not consider him a companion to ward off loneliness, but he had chided himself immediately. _You are engaged to Violet,_ he said to himself firmly. _Even if she did care for you that way she couldn't consider you, her morality wouldn't allow her to._

But then she had called his name. Screamed it actually. _Daniel please don't leave me, I need you!_ Not Jarvis, not Steve, but him. He had spoken to her then, assuring her that he was there and unhurt, ignoring Jarvis as he cleared his throat to assuage his awkwardness. She had calmed.

One thing he knew for certain was that Peggy had a deep seated fear of hospitals. Another thing he knew less certainly is that she cared for him. Maybe even loved him. And he was engaged. He looked down at her face, so still and deathlike.

He fought panic and urged Jarvis to drive faster.

"Keep fighting Peg, we're almost there."

" _Hello?" Peggy's voice echoed down a concrete corridor. "Is anyone there?" She shivered, it was freezing in there. Squinting, Peggy made out a small figure seated on the floor head in hand. "Hello?" she was greeted by the sound of a woman crying. As she approached, Peggy gently knelt down and touched the girls shoulder. "Are you alright?" Slowly she lifted her head, her red hair creating a curtain between her and Peggy._

" _No, I'm not alright." She said, her voice bitter._

" _What's happened to you? Can I help?" She rubbed her hand sympathetically on the young woman's back._

 _Sharply the girl turned her head to look at her, her expression one of sheer hatred. "No. No you've done quite enough."_

 _Peggy fell backward in horror. It was her old roommate Colleen. On her forehead, still as fresh as the day she had been shot, was a bullet hole._

 _Colleen stood menacingly above her, a gun suddenly appearing in her hand. Peggy choked back what could have been either a sob or a gasp. Words stuck in her throat, she was frozen in place as Colleen trained her gun on her._

" _You deserve this." Colleen said in a deadly whisper, then pulled the trigger._

"NO!" Peggy's scream caused Jarvis to slam on the brakes in alarm, sending Daniel and Peggy flying forward. Daniel arched his body around Peggy, stiff arming the front seat and keeping her from the worst of the impact.

She'd been shot. She felt the pain of the gunshot wound in her abdomen. She looked around wildly, her eyes searching for Colleen, trying to avoid a second hit when she alighted on Daniels face. Slowly reality sank in again, and her chest tightened. Reality wasn't much better than her dreams. She looked down at her stomach, and Daniels eyes followed her gaze. She was bleeding again.

"Jarvis pull upjust two more blocks. That's the one right there."

"Chief where are you taking her?"

Daniel's face was grim. "To Violet."

Between the two of them, Daniel and Jarvis carried Peggy to the front door. Daniel pounded on it with his fist. Peggy was struggling to stand, fighting to make it easier on them but failing to support her own weight. She clutched her side in agony, unable to control the groans that escaped her pale lips.

Violet opened the door and Daniel saw shock register on her face. He moved past her without greeting her. "What happened to her?!" Violet exclaimed. "She fell." Daniel replied. He knew Violet deserved a better explanation, but he didn't have time, Peggy needed medical help and fast.

"She needs a hospital!" Daniel winced.

Peggy jerked out of her daze, "NO, no hospitals!"

"It's ok Peggy, no hospitals I promise."

Jarvis shot him a knowing look, and Daniel shot a warning one back at him.

"A hospital would be dangerous for her, she has many powerful people after her." Jarvis said to Violet hastily. He lay Peggy, trembling, on her back on Violets couch.

 _I'm going to bleed on Violets lovely couch._ Peggy thought to herself briefly.

Daniel did not appear to notice however, and he knelt by her side, eyes trained anxiously on her, his hand resting comfortingly on her shoulder. Peggy's eyes stayed on him, he was her lighthouse in the storm of her pain, and seeing him kept her anchored in reality. He focused on her, analyzing everything he saw.

Violet snapped into action. "Ok here's what I need. Daniel, go to the cupboard and get me some linens, I need to pack the wound. Mr. uhh…"

"Edwin Jarvis miss, at your service."

"Mr. Jarvis I need you to boil some water."

"Very good. Absolutely"

Daniel still knelt beside Peggy, still touched her shoulder. Cold realization dawned on Violet as she watched them. She shook her head to clear it. No. They were engaged.

"DANIEL. I need linens. Go get the old sheets."

Daniel snapped out of it, "Right, sorry." He hobbled his way into the hallway. He was exhausted, physically and emotionally. He made it to the closet on faltering feet and dug around for the sheets. They were white. He gazed at them dazedly for a moment, soon they would be crimson with Peggy's blood. How much more could she bleed before-

Peggy's scream shattered his thoughts. He had heard her cry out in her sleep, heard her pain coming through the clouds of delirium. This was different. This was lucid, unadulterated agony that Peggy couldn't hold back. He started to run to her, before remembering that running was a thing of the past for him. His crutch caught on the cabinet door and he fell heavily, catching himself against the wall with a loud bang. He pressed his head into the cool textured wall, gritting his teeth until the scream stopped, and all he could hear was Peggy's labored breathing.

"Daniel," Came a soft voice. He looked up. It was Violet. Slowly, her eyes never leaving his face, she walked over to him and bent down and retrieved his crutch. Handing it to him, she took the sheets from his hands, and slowly turned and walked away.


	3. Chapter 3

Peggy lay on Violets sofa staring up at the ceiling. Jarvis had practically buried her in blankets, but she didn't mind, she was cold. The terrible burning pain of Violets medicine had made her pass out again, but now it had faded to a dull, pulsing ache. As long as she lay still it kept its peace.

She turned her head gingerly to the side and let her gaze rest on Daniel asleep in the chair across the room. Violet had insisted he sleep in her guest room, but he had refused, adamantly arguing that he was chief and he needed to be near his Agent until he was satisfied she was well. Peggy didn't buy it, and from the look on Violets face, Peggy guessed that she didn't either. She had a sinking feeling in her stomach.

 _I am ruining his life, just as surely as I ruined Colleens,_ she thought to herself, watching the easy rise and fall of his chest. He deserved happiness, the best and purest happiness that life could offer. She could not give that to him, but Violet could. Images of Colleen haunted her mind.

 _You deserve this._

She shuddered. Maybe she did. She didn't know, all she knew was that happiness just didn't seem to be in the cards for her, and she refused to bring a good man like Daniel – Chief Sousa- she corrected herself, down with her.

The front door opened softly, and Jarvis poked his head cautiously in to find Peggy gazing with tears standing in her eyes at Chief Sousa. He watched with a heavy heart for a moment, before closing the door silently and then rapping softly before he entered again. He pretended not to see Peggy shrink beneath her blankets and quickly dash away her tears.

"Mr. Jarvis," she smiled weakly at him, "I'm glad your back. Did Rose and Dr. Samberly get back alright?"

He smiled down at her, "Yes, I went back and took them to the lab, they are most anxious about you. I told them Chief Sousa would call them when we had an update."

"I'm fine now. No need to fuss." She tried weakly to sit up but grimaced and changed her mind.

Jarvis glanced over at Chief Sousa. "Has he been here long?"

"We haven't been able to persuade him to leave I'm afraid." She replied, avoiding Jarvis's gaze.

Jarvis watched her face for a moment silently. "And Violet?" he inquired softly.

"Yes she's here, in the kitchen I believe, I made rather a mess of her home, blood everywhere." Peggy's voice was light but strained.

Jarvis's face was grave. Peggy looked up at him, unspoken words passing between them. Her expression was imploring.

"I wonder, Mr. Jarvis, if you might do me a favor?"

"Ms. Carter, there is nothing I would not do for you."

She warmed toward him, looked once more at Daniel, then down at her hands. "Could you be persuaded to take me home? I am so grateful to Violet but…" her voice trailed off.

Jarvis caught on immediately, his eyes following her gaze. He squeezed her shoulder in comfort. "I will bring the car around."

She looked up at him gratefully. "Thank you. And Mr. Jarvis, please don't let on that I asked to go."

"Mums the word Ms. Carter." He said kindly, and walked out the door.

At that moment the telephone rang, startling Daniel awake. He looked immediately to her, and seeing she was awake, was unable to keep a smile off his face. A sigh of relief from escaped him. He lifted himself up, took up his crutch and made it to the phone. It was Rose. Peggy smiled to herself, such a good friend.

She listened as Daniel assured her that she was alright. She took a deep breath, steeling herself for what she needed to do.

Daniel hung up the phone and turned to her. "Rose and Dr. Samberly just finished securing the uranium rods."

"Well that's a plus." Peggy said her voice light. She forced herself upright. "At least.." She struggled to remain in a sitting position, but to her dismay began to fall back to her pillow. Daniel reached out and caught her, his hand warm and kind on her shoulder. She squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for the pain to pass before she looked at him. Her sheer vulnerability wasn't helping her case. He rubbed her shoulder comfortingly. She looked at him, he was so good. He cared for her, she knew he did. But it wasn't right. He was engaged, he was happy. He deserved that.

"You really scared me back there." He said, his hand still on her shoulder, his expression haunted by memories of the last few hours. His next words hurt her heart. "Please don't do that to me again."

Peggy saw in his face something that both warmed and frightened her. This was not going to be easy. _Jarvis please hurry._ She gave him a wry smile to diffuse the intimacy, shaking him off as best she could. "What? Get impaled? Yes Chief."

Chief, not Daniel. It seemed wrong somehow, and yet, it was entirely proper. Her distancing language reminded him abruptly that she was not his to care for. He got the distinct impression that his touch was no longer welcome. She leaned slightly away from him now. Peggy had needed him near when she was delirious, not in her right mind. Any human person needed the contact of someone they knew in times of turmoil. He looked into her eyes. She looked back firmly, and he saw her on her guard against him now that she was stable. His heart sank.

Violet appeared suddenly across the room.

"Your bleeding is already under control. The rebar missed everything vital." Daniel dropped his hand off her shoulder as though she were a hot iron. He felt like an idiot, and the worst kind of cheater. Violet was so good for him, and it only took him two hours with Peggy to drive him to distraction. Peggy would never love him like Violet could. He stood and went to Violets side.

 _That's right Daniel._ Peggy thought to herself. Her heart felt heavy. _Be happy._

"You'll need to rest, which means no more. . . well doing whatever the hell you were doing. You just need to be boring for a while." Violet smiled kindly at her. Peggy smiled back, willing her to know that she was not against her. That she wanted her to take care of Daniel.

"Ah good you're awake." Jarvis entered the room tugging anxiously on his ear. "I've pulled the car around." Seeing Daniel standing near Violet and Peggy's imploring expression, Jarvis went to her side and immediately began to help her to her feet.

Violet looked alarmed. "She really shouldn't be moving around all that much. It might be better if you were to stay with me for a few days Peggy."

Peggy looked at her incredulously to see if she was joking. Violets face seemed perfectly sincere. _She's just as good as Daniel._ She thought to herself. _They're perfect._ Still, she couldn't think of anything she would like less than to stay near the two of them for one second longer.

"Oh I couldn't possibly ask anymore of you." She said, slightly out of breath from the effort. She leaned heavily on Jarvis. She looked at Violet, her eyes full of barely concealed emotion. "Thank you Violet, truly."

Violet met her gaze, reading Peggy's expression with subtle surprise. "Of course." She said softly, and watched as Peggy struggled out the door.

Jarvis helped her as best he could into the passenger seat. He wanted to keep an eye on her, and the back seat just wouldn't do. She made no effort to resist, just sat back as he carefully made sure she was buckled securely. As he got into the car and began to drive, Peggy stared listlessly out the window, her face turned resolutely away from him.

"Ms. Carter…" Jarvis began hesitantly.

"Please Mr. Jarvis no. A moment's peace, I beg of you." Her voice was thick.

"Very well." He replied softly, and watched helplessly as a single tear spilled down her cheek.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you all for your wonderful reviews! I only meant for this to be an experimental one shot, but your encouragement has inspired me to keep writing! Here is Chapter 4, the wrap up of "The Atomic Job." I have plans to explore other scenes from the show, playing with inner dialogue and giving an inside look to how I think each character works beneath the surface. Keep the reviews coming! I love knowing your thoughts!**

* * *

Daniel watched the door close behind Peggy and Jarvis with a mixture of regret and relief. More relief than regret, he decided. He felt resolved, a clear picture of his life stretched out before him. Peggy would return to New York when she was well enough, and he and Violet would be married. He would be happy.

Daniel turned to her, she stood with an expression of deep contemplation and realization on her face that Daniel was oblivious to.

"Thank you so much," he said approaching her warmly, "You were amazing."

Violet looked up at him sharply. "You didn't tell me." She said accusingly.

Daniel stopped, confused. "Tell you? Tell you what? About the mission? You know I can't-"

"No I'm not talking about the mission." She said her voice growing impatient, her face flushed.

"You told me you came to LA for a fresh start, but that's not the whole truth is it?"

"Of course it is!" he responded, a feeling of dread beginning to pool in his chest.

"No, you were running away. You were running away from Peggy." Daniel felt his stomach drop to the floor.

"Violet no, it's not what you think." He felt sweat trickling down his forehead, this was a disaster, he was such an idiot.

"Well I think you're in love with her. Are you Daniel?"

The softness to her voice and the direct question caught him off guard. He couldn't seem to open his mouth, snapshots of Peggy sped through his head; Peggy's infectious smile, her sharp wit that always startled a laugh from him, her fierce devotion to justice and what was good and true, her killer right hook. He loved these things about her. He saw in his mind Peggy falling, felt again the sick twist of his stomach when he thought he would lose her, heard her calling his name through her pain. He hung his head. He loved her, undeniably, hopelessly, pathetically, he loved her. He felt her in his very blood. He could not even bring himself to look at Violet.

She was silent a moment more, watching the turmoil cross his face before she spoke again, her voice somehow full of compassion yet tinged with a deep sadness. "She loves you too Daniel."

Daniel's head snapped up at that. "No Violet, she doesn't, she and I will never work out, it's why I left New York, I should have told you from the start and I'm so sorry. I never expected her to come here. She isn't even an option Violet I swear."

"She is." Violet said solemnly, as though the words caused her physical pain. "I watched her Daniel. Women..." she hesitated, "well; we don't need words to speak to each other. I saw how she looked at you, how she needed you near her even when she tried not to for your sake. She loves you. Enough to sacrifice her own happiness for yours."

"Violet, I guarantee you she does not! She's proven it to me over and over." Daniel's voice grew in intensity, "I love you. I chose you, proposed to YOU. I will stand by my promise." He touched her arm, trying to move in closer to her. Violet pushed him gently away, pain etched on her face, silently begging him not to make her sacrifice harder.

"You will never be able to love me the way you love her. And I deserve to be loved by someone whose heart doesn't rest with someone else." Her voice caught in her throat. Slowly, she slipped off her ring and held it out to him.

Daniel's voice was barely above a whisper, "Violet please, don't do this. We can work this out."

Violet shook her head silently, and placed the ring on the table in front of them. Tears streamed down her face as she spoke. "I want you to go home, take some time to think it through, and then go to her and talk it out. But don't come back here. I'm sorry things worked out this way. I still think you're a good man, but please, if you love me at all, don't come back." She turned quickly and retreated to her room, leaving Daniel to see himself out.

He stood there stunned, staring at the ring before him on the table. In one day he managed to ruin his entire life, all because he couldn't shake his feelings for Peggy Carter. And now both women he loved had revealed to him each in their own way that they didn't love him back.

Numbly, he picked up the ring, and stumbled out the door.

* * *

"Does it hurt?" Jason Wilkes stood at the foot of Peggy's bed watching with concern as Peggy shifted her position gingerly.

Peggy looked up at Jason to discern his meaning, she was so tired, had she let something slip? Quickly she realized he meant her rebar wound. Of course he did.

"Not compared to the pain that I felt when she touched me," she said honestly. He was kind, keeping her company like this. She appreciated his presence; she wasn't ready to be alone, although she had a nagging feeling that it wasn't entirely proper while she was in bed clothes and in her bed. But Jason was a good man, and he had no body mass in any case. Even her mother couldn't argue with that.

Jason looked at her with sympathy. "The place where zero matter comes from…It's dark, painful. It's not a place you want to be." His expression was haunted, it drew Peggy away from her own petty troubles.

"Is that so?" she asked, trying to read his face, "How do you know that?"

He gave her a small smile, even at her lowest, she was trying to help him.

"It's a conversation for another night. Maybe for now we could just listen to some music. You know, rest?" He gently chided her.

 _Jarvis would be proud of him, keeping me from any hint of work._ Peggy thought to herself.

"Butlers orders?' she smiled, and began dialing through radio stations until she found one. Static crackled for a moment before giving way to a melody that was familiar to both of them.

"It's your song. I want to be loved." As the words left her mouth, she felt the deep truth of them. They sank into her mind and heart, making her ache. She dropped her eyes back to the radio, momentarily lost in the realization that, for the first time since Steve had passed, she wanted more then what life on her own could give her.

Jason noticed her pause.

"Don't we all?" he said, his voice warm and soft. Peggy felt as though he could see into her soul at that moment, and she suddenly felt shy. Daniel was not a possibility for her anymore; she needed to let that go. But this man before her was kind, and if they ever figured out a way to make him whole again, maybe, just maybe something could come of it.

Peggy smiled at him, and let her eyes slide shut. The music floated through her head lulling her to sleep:

 _I wanna feel there's a reason for living again  
I want us to fly far away  
And I want my heart to sing the words only you can understand  
So put your hand in mine, say a prayer tonight  
So that we may find love_


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry to be a tease! I just saw how many of you had followed "A Fear of Falling" for updates and I wanted to let you know that I am continuing the story line directly from here in my new story called "Facing Facts."If you are so inclined, you should check it out!**


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